Becoming a Strong, Caring, Indepedent, Christian Woman

Well everyone, I was supposed to move into my new apartment today. I was waiting all day yesterday and this morning because the apartment director said she needed a paper signed by a doctor at the clinic I go to. Well, several of my friends said I should page the doctor, it was defiantly an emergency. When the apartment director called today in the morning and said I couldn’t move in that she would call me when she got the paper, I thought let her handle it. However, later I thought about what my friends said. I didn’t page the doctor because they are so absent minded. I called my therapist so she could get to the bottom of it. My therapist did and said the paper will be at the apartment program by tomorrow. Now everyone pray that the apartment director will call me tomorrow and say I can move in Friday. I know I waited four years to get out of my parents house I can wait a little more.

Now the topic: becoming a strong, caring, independent, Christian woman. That is my New Year’s resolution for as long as take. It may take a life time. I didn’t expect Jesus to test me on my strength so soon. I heard it once said be careful what you pray for because if you pray for something like being strong, God will give you situation in which to be strong. Well, my Mom was getting on me all day that she doesn’t have enough money and I should ask the apartment counselor if my parents can have some of my social security money because I will be here at least a week.

Now what happened is I got my social security on the thirtieth of December and I was going to save it to pay my program fees for the apartment program I am moving into. However, my parents didn’t figure on the rent they weren’t going to get this month because I wouldn’t be here. I said they can borrow the money and I would pay my apartment program fees this Friday. Well, they went through it like water and racked up over two hundred dollars in what they owe me. Now they are saying they can’t pay me back and that they should get more money. I probably picked the wrong time, but I told them I have to pay my credit card bill and I didn’t know how I was going to it while we were in the grocery store. And it became a big fight. It ended up with them leaving me there and coming back to pick me up later. It was so lonely at the grocery by myself I felt alone. I should never feel alone. God is always with me. I guess I just need another human to care and understand.

Well, my parents said they are going to pay me back and I said that if they don’t charge me program fees for this first week, I am going to keep it because along with the credit card bill, I have other stuff that I need. I haven’t bought anything for myself since my December first social security check (I usually get my social security check on the first of every month, but this month December thirty – first and January first were holidays so they gave it to me early). Am I selfish?

I really missed the blogging world. I was just so busy with Christmas and then I had a sinus infection. I promise to try to stay on top of my blogging. Right now I just feel so alone. I need some love. Pray that God will send someone into my life to share it with. I need a companion. Someone to understand, a soul mate or a least a kindred spirit. I need some love from my blogging buddies.