I hope I am not just ranting

Well, I know I haven’t updated my blog recently. A lot of good things happened in my life. Karen and I are becoming good friends, must of the time we watch “Two and Half Men” together and then talk. I had a little difficulty with getting clearance from Health Service of the Hospital that I am going to volunteer with. Nothing about my mental illness, I was honest with everyone at the Hospital that I have a mental illness and that I am very stable. It had to do with my MMR vaccine. That’s all straightened now and I am going to Orientation for my volunteer position this Monday. And I am just connecting with a lot of people.

Anyway, something happened today. I want to share it all with you. I hope this doesn’t come out as a rant. If I babble on you don’t have to read it. My best friend picked me up today to go to her house and have pizza and watch her DVD collection of the “O.C.” It was snowing, but wasn’t too bad. Chrissy was still a little scared so she asked if my parents could pick me up from her house and take me to my apartment when it was time for me to go. Well, my Mom was a little upset, but she said my Dad would do it. Then my Mom called and she told me the weather was really bad and I should call my apartment program and tell them I am sleeping over at Chrissy. Well, first off it isn’t past my thirty days when I am allowed to have someone sleep over my house or me to sleep somewhere other than my apartment. Second, I am supposed to tell my primary apartment counselor two – four hours in advanced if I am going to sleep over somewhere. Third, my Dad didn’t think it was that bad outside. And Fourth, I didn’t feel it was that bad outside. I am sure if it really was that bad outside my apartment program would let me sleep over at my friend Chrissy house and I would have no problem asking them.

So anyway, my Dad said that he would pick me up. After he left, my Mom called Chrissy's house and was yelling and screaming at me. She said how I do expect a sixty year old man to drive in this weather. My Mom told me that if anything happened to my Dad it was all on me. Then she brought up an incident that happened when I was a freshman in college home on break and was starting to get sick. It's like nothing is ever forgiven with my Mom. My Mom rattled me up so much and I didn’t want to upset Chrissy so I just listened until she hung up.

When I was in the car with my Dad, I lost it. I was just crying and crying. My Dad was so nice. He kept reassuring me that it was alright. That the roads weren’t that bad and that my Dad is responsible for himself. My Dad told me that if he got out on the road and thought it wasn’t safe, he would have called me and told me that he couldn’t pick me up.

I just feel like everyone in the whole world knows that I am a good and decent person except my Mom. When she yells at me like that I feel like I am this evil person that only thinks of herself. I mean it is true that I didn’t want to sleep over at Chrissy and I didn’t want to face the apartment program’s question about why I wanted to sleep over. However, honestly if I thought something terrible would happen to my Dad, I would have slept over at Chrissy. I just feel so low right now!